A while ago we wrote about masturbating and how important it is to discover what turns you on and off, as well as all the little quirks and nuances of feelings your body can produce.
This time we would like to vouch again for making love to yourself but: together with your partner. We asked a whole variety of our friends on this matter and reactions couldn’t be more different. From a simple ‘No way!’ to interesting chats about what an intimate experience it can be ,we took away the impression that there is a lot of ‘sexual potential’ untapped here.
Personally, I enjoy all kinds of ways that masturbation can be incorporated in love play. To me, it is still mainly ‘me time’. It’s time-out for me alone and I don’t need or want anyone disturbing me, a wholly selfish pleasure. However sharing this experience with a partner is a very generous and intimate gesture and that is what often makes it an eye-opening experience. The options are unlimited: getting ‘caught’ masturbating by a partner can spark a steamy session, watching the other one can form a great part of your foreplay, switching from pleasuring yourself to pleasuring him, a wonderful treat…
Another situation altogether is when, what sexologists call a ‘desire discrepancy’ (=one of you wants to have sex, one of you doesn’t) occurs. Example: He is horny – She is tired. Giving him a cuddle or a hug whilst he masturbates can be a great way of satisfying both of you without the pressure or frustration that often builds up in those situations.
What still surprised us was the fact that being asked about masturbation, some couples (or parts of couples) still seem to think that masturbation, alone or together, has no place in a relationship. Quite frankly: what a selfish thought that is! It’s like asking your partner to stop loving themselves because now they have a partner to give all their love and affection to.
Another interesting insight is that often men feel more embarrassed about masturbating whilst in a relationship (but still doing it) than the girls. Often they were assuming their girlfriends wouldn’t approve or even ‘allow’ it. The interesting fact is that their girlfriends very often don’t actually care. So gentlemen: Have you actually asked your girlfriends? Maybe they’ll surprise you! Lots of girls we asked were very positive about masturbating in front of their partners as well as knowing their partner masturbates. Among other things they like the fact that playing with themselves is just another way of turning him on. So why not try talking about it and embracing is as part of your love life?
And with that, we leave you to do your homework folks.
Make love to your lovely selves,
The Girls
